What’s Love Got To Do With It? That was my question to God. A woman full of shame and hurt, I learned to “take care of me” in the best way…build a wall and hide behind it. Not just any wall, a concrete wall so that no one can see what’s on the other side. You could only see what I wanted you to see, my big smile, my strut of confidence in my high heels, you know all that good “fake” stuff. I had this big “naive” heart that grew calloused, I could no longer feel love. I couldn’t receive love because I didn’t trust anyone, I couldn’t give love because that would mean I’d have to let you in and that was a NO NO. So my mindset became…I don’t need anybody, I’m good. I literally took that to heart “I. Don’t. Need. Anybody.”. I said those words for so many years I actually believed it. My heart was so hard that no one could touch it, sometimes not even God. I mean I’ve always been a praying woman, I have faith and believe in God, and I know that it was only the grace of God that carried me and my sons through this life. God is good!

I’d been divorced twice and not too many people knew the details, but enough people knew the details. I was so ashamed. I wasn’t even 35 and been divorced twice already. After my second divorce and sitting in my shame and anger, I asked God, how did I get here again? How did this happen to me again? I was so angry with myself! I started to ask myself those hard questions and reflecting on all the mess. Why did I get married the second time? What made me do it even though I had doubts beforehand?

It was when I started to answer those hard questions that I was given a revelation. I needed to take ownership for MY bad decisions, the things I allowed to happen, the words I allowed to be said to me, the situations I allowed to ignore. Once I was able to be honest with myself, I was able to FORGIVE myself. I forgave myself for my bad decisions, AND I forgave those I had blamed. That was the moment I was SET FREE! Over time I created boundaries, and my authentic phrase was birthed…I love me some Stacey! I had finally experienced love again…almost.

The true love came in January 2019 when I allowed God to massage my heart and remove the callouses. I drew closer to God and he drew closer to me. The best relationship of my life. All He wanted me to do was LOVE…to love Him, to love myself and to love others (Matthew 22:37-39). I said YES, yes God, I will love as you command, “agape” kind of love (to unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others).Today, I can authentically, from my heart say “I love you and I care about you”.

The answer to the question, “What’s love got to do with it”…absolutely everything, our lives depend on it.